Being a mom is HARD!!

I’ll say it again! Being a mom is hard!! Seriously!!! If any of you are reading this and thinking, ”What is she talking about?” Just wait. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom. It is the best job I have ever had but the most difficult as well. It also doesn’t matter what kind of mom you are. I have been a stay-at-home mom, working mom, single mom, stepmom, foster mom, adoptive mom, second mom, and teacher mom. Every single one of those have been tough in their own ways. Every. Single. One.

I think that part of the reason it is so hard is because we are so hard on ourselves as moms. Either we grew up with the”perfect” mom and we are trying to be just like her, we had a TERRIBLE mom that we are trying to be nothing like, or it’s somewhere in between. Any mistake we make is blown way out of proportion because we have put so much pressure on ourselves. We are so worried of being the reason our children have to recover from their childhood that we nitpick ourselves like crazy! All of us need to learn to cut ourselves some slack.

Trust me. Guess who has made a TON of mistakes in all of those mom roles? If you guessed me, then you get a gold star! I used to hold on to all of those mistakes and then try to avoid that same mistake with the next kid in line. It did not work though and I ended up focusing so much on making sure I didn’t make the same mistake that I ended up going the complete opposite direction.

Here are a few things I have learned over the years.

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself. If you are constantly stressed over being a good enough mom, you are going to overthink way too much. It also stresses everyone else out, including the kids.
2. Find someone to vent to. It can be your spouse, best friend, or someone else, but make sure you have someone you can talk to. They don’t need to have answers to what you are dealing with. Sometimes we just need to get some things off our chests.
3. Find some time for yourself! This is extremely important!! Make sure you are drinking enough water, getting sleep, and taking vitamins. If you do not take care of yourself then you will not be able to take care of anyone else. I didn’t realize how important this really was until I started doing it and feeling better. It’s much easier to be there for others when you are not exhausted and cranky yourself.
4. Change how you talk to your kids. Instead of asking what is wrong when they seem upset, try asking what they need from you. Sometimes they are not able to pinpoint what is bothering them, but they can say what might make them feel better. We tend to forget that even we as adults can’t always pinpoint why we are feeling off, so we can’t expect kids to be able to.
5. Accept that your children will get mad at you. This is a given. No matter how much we hate this one, it’s going to happen. We cannot let our children get their way all of the time, and if you are setting boundaries, they will push them.
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t matter who you ask, just ask. You cannot do it all alone! I totally agree with the old saying, ”It takes a village”. Accept help.
7. Pray. Yes, I went there. I don’t care what religion you are because that really doesn’t matter, and I don’t think God really cares either. If it were not for the power of prayer I would not have made it through a lot of things.